Our little secret
by Kirkland21
Summary: 18 year old Mattie Williams is a straight A student who wants to be noticed, though his life changes when his new science teacher, Gilbert Beilschmidt, falls in love with him. Will their love remain a secret? This story was written for my bestie Katie!
1. Chapter 1

I turn the page of my science textbook and begin to absorb its context. As a straight A student, I can't be distracted by anything besides school work. My notebook is almost completely filled with short form information about electricity and magnetism. With the big test coming up, I need to be prepared. The school bell rings and I pull a piece of paper out of my bag. The classroom door opened and a strange albino man walked in.

"Hello, I'm the AWESOME Mr. Beilschmidt," He wrote his name messily on the chalk board "I'm taking over for Mr. Oxenstierna."

He turned to the class with a bright smile, though it fealt like he was looking straight as me.

Actually, he was looking at me.

"I'd like to start this class by getting to know all of your names," Mr. Beilschmidt sat on his desk

Since I'm sitting in the front row only a couple of students introduced themselves before me.

I'm re-reading my notes when a classmate pokes me.

"Whats your name?" Mr. Beilschmidt asks me kindly.

"I'm Mattie..." I feel shy around him.

Mr. Beilschmidt leaned towards me, "Sorry what was that?"

"M..Mattie." I feel embarrassed having to repeat myself. He only smiles brighter.

"I'll call you Birdie, It's a fitting name." He smiles cheekily.

My cheeks burn and he turns to hear the rest of the students names.

He's an attractive teacher...

Wait, what am I thinking?! I have to focus on school work.

Mr. Beilschmidt sits back on his desk and crosses his legs, "Everyone turn to page 47 and take notes on electricity caused by lightning."

I need no further instructions and begin at once, I need to get good grades.

_Lightning is a massive electrostatic discharge between the electrically charged regions within clouds or between a cloud and the surface of a planet._

Kuma, my older brother, says I'll get noticed if I get good grades. And getting noticed is a major priority for me.

_The charged regions within the atmosphere temporarily equalize themselves through a lightning flash, commonly referred to as-_

A hand grasps my shoulder.

I nearly jump out of my seat when I realize Mr. Beilschmidt is standing over me.

"You ok Birdie? He turns to make eye contact with me, taking his hand off my shoulder.

"I'm fine," My face is burning up "Thank you."

Something about him makes me embarrassed.

"You seem like a promising student," He skims over my notes, "And a cute one too."

My face must be really red.

Mr. Beilschmidt laughs, "Kesese, I'm just teasing you," He pokes my cheek.

"Alright class," He stands at the front of the class "I've decided were going to do an AWESOME project, like a science fair."

The class murmurs excitedly, science fairs mean not learning and just creating a 'scientific' model.

"Each of you will make a poster regarding a scientific subject and the best posters will go up on the wall.

I know I have to make the best poster, and I will.

"Your time to shine." Mr. Beilschmidt whispers to me.

* * *

"Hi Elizaveta," I greet the head librarian kindly "Which section has the grade 12 level books?"

"Hi Mattie," she turns to me with a smile, "Section E should have all the books about science and such."

"Thank you."

The library had finished renovation a week ago and now all the books are in new places.

I turn around and almost walk into Mr. Edelstein, the music teacher.

"Sorry sir, I didn't-"

"Watch where you're going." He fumes as he storms off, arms full with music books.

I sigh, some of the teacher's are really strange, and I can't stop thinking about Mr. Beilschmidt.

As I walk through each isle, I feel overwhelmed by all the books.

Maybe later I'll check out books by famous Canadian authors... I always thought they wrote the best stories.

I find section E on the back wall at the far end of the library, the number of educational books is amazing.

The science books are on the top shelf, which touches the ceiling.

I take a step-stool and use it to get eye to eye with the science books.

There's a lot of books to choose from.

_"Advanced Chemistry"," Medicinal Plants", "Biology/Life Sciences", etc._

Then, I noticed a book I knew would impress Mr. Beilschmidt.

_"The Life of the Average Bird"_

I reach for the book when suddenly the stool wobbles and I begin to loose my balance.

I slip and feel myself falling, I shut my eyes and brace for impact.

Then...

Nothing.

I don't hit the ground.

I open my eyes to see Mr. Beilschmidt's red eyes looking back at me.

"Birdie, are you ok?!" He asks, he seems really concerned for my safety. Then again he IS a teacher.

Though Mr. Beilschmidt HAD caught me... I hadn't gotten hurt thanks to him.

"I'm ok," He helps me stand up "You didn't have to catch me."

He frowns, as if the idea was unacceptable "I couldn't let mein Birdie get hurt."

He grabs the life of a bird book and hands it to me, "Now you owe me."

"I do...?" I look into his eyes and see that he's serious.

"How do I pay you back?"

Mr. Beilschmidt touched my hair gently, brushing his fingers through it, and then...

Then...

He pulled his face close to mine and our lips connected like magnets. His lips are feather-soft. I could feel my heart pounding like crazy.

When he let go of me, of our embrace, I could still feel his lips on mine. A feathery kiss.

"Now were even," Mr. Beilschmidt breathed "And call me Gil from now on."

I don't want to loose the taste of him on my lips so I just nod.

Gil smiled at me, "See you next class. And remember, this is our little secret."


	2. Chapter 2

I kissed a teacher.

MY teacher.

I can't focus on my math homework, I keep thinking about the kiss.

That amazing kiss...

There's a knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in!" I call out to the visitor.

"Hey Mattie, how's your math going." Kuma walks into my room and takes my workbook away from me.

"Good," I don't like lying to Kuma, but it's not like I can tell him I haven't been paying attention.

"Mattie," He examines the work "These are wrong."

He seems surprised.

Kuma sits on my bed and places a hand on my shoulder, "Are you ok?"

I'm not even listening to him.

I'm distracted by his hair.

His hair is a light blonde colour that could pass for white in the right lighting.

White hair...

Now I'm thinking about Gil again...

"Hey!" Kuma snaps his fingers in my face and I realize I've been ignoring him. "I said are you ok? You seem off today."

"I'm... fine-" I don't want to make him worry but I can't finish that sentence.

"No you're not, tell me whats wrong." Kuma can be such a caring older brother, he is most of the time.

"I've.. just had a busy day, can I get back to my math now?"

I take my workbook back from him.

Kuma sighs, he stands up and leaves my room without another word .

Suddenly, I feel guilty.

I'll tell him tomorrow.

Redoing my math will take a while, but I need a good grade.

Or do I...?

I should try taking a nap, I can finish my math later.

Too tired to put on pajamas, I take off my shirt and jeans and slip into bed.

I set my alarm to half an hour, that's all I'll need.

I close my eyes and let myself fall asleep.

* * *

The sun blinding my eyes wakes me up.

I roll onto my side, I notice the time.

_8:30_

"Maple! I'm late!" I throw off the bed sheets, "Why didn't my alarm go off?!"

Jeans... I rummage through my dresser for a clean pair of jeans.

I throw on black jeans and a red pull-over sweater.

"Kuma! Hey Kuma are you up?"

I can smell pancakes.

I almost trip running down the stairs, our apartment is too small.

Kuma places a small plate of pancakes on the kitchen table, "Hurry up and eat."

He's not a morning person.

Kuma has on one of my over-sized bear sweaters and pajama pants.

I try to eat the pancakes quickly but I nearly choke on it.

"Don't eat so fast, you look like your weird friend Alfred."

Alfred and I do look alike, we could pretend to be twins.

Actually, we tried it but people knew right away because I wasn't yelling or eating fifty burgers at once.

Finishing my pancakes, I pack my schoolbag, brush my teeth and put on a pair of uggs in under five minutes.

"I'm going now! Bye Kuma!" I exclaim as I put on my winter jacket and a toque.

Kuma mumbles something I can't hear but I assume (and hope) he had said goodbye.

Once out the door I realize that even if I run I wont make it to school by 8:50, it's already 8:46.

I'd never been late to school, never; This will most likely affect my grade.

I can see my own breath, the ground is covered in snow so it's not a surprise.

The snow crunches under my feet.

I'd reached the end of the block when a car horn beeps at me.

I turn around to see a black Porsche pull up next to me.

"Gil...?"

I can't believe my teacher has a Porsche, it looks brand new.

"Need a ride, Birdie?" He smiles, he has such a nice smile.

"If you don't mind..." Gil unlocks the car doors and I slide into the passenger seat.

The seats are made of a white leather and it smells like pine trees.

"How did you know I would be here?" I ask him.

"Student records, when you weren't at school I got worried."

He was worried about me, and somehow he knew I should have been at school early.

"Were you waiting for me?" It sounds creepy but I know Gil was just worrying about me.

"Yeah... I can't just let mein Birdie catch a cold."

He pulled into the staff parking lot and shut off the engine.

He turned to me, "I'm sorry about yesterday, the awesome me couldn't help myself."

"It's ok," I blush "I didn't mind it..."

Leaning closer to me, he whispered "Did you like it?"

My face burns and I nod, again he's made me speechless.

"Good, because... I think I love you Birdie" he breathed as he pressed his lips against mine.

I feel adrenaline rushing through my veins. This is what kissing the person you love feels like. When Gil starts to let go of me, I won't let him and I force my lips back against his. I've become addicted to his seductive kisses.

"Birdie..?"

I move my lips down his neck.

"Birdie."

"Yes?"

Gil stops me, "You're going to be late for class."

I sigh and exit the car, "Thanks for the ride."

I can't help but feel disappointed.

"I'll pick you up again tomorrow," He says as he steps out of the car "Let's get to our classes."

* * *

"Herro, and wercome to home EC." Mr. Kiku welcomed the class.

I love home EC, last week we made pancakes.

Feliciano, my lab partner, smiles excitedly when he sees me.

"Mattie! Guess what were making today!" Feli exclaims.

He seems excited, then again he's ALWAYS excited.

"Um... brownies?" I guess, knowing my answer is wrong.

Feli laughs, "Ve~ Were making PASTAAAA!"

"Prease be quiet!" Mr. Kiku shouts at Feli, "Yes, today we wirr be making pasta rike Fericiano said. Everybody get the ingredients of your choice."

"Mattie can I choose? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Feliciano loves pasta so no wonder he's more excited than usual.

"Ok, try and get some good tomatoes."

Feli carries a basket over to the ingredient table and puts in all kinds of foods.

While he's at the table, I put on a old white apron.

"What kind of cheese do you want?" He asks, though before I can answer he grabs a chunk of mozzarella.

Everybody returns to their work areas and waits for Mr. Kiku to start the lab.

"Now ret's begin." Mr. Kiku announces.

I take a small knife and begin to slice mushrooms, already washed.

Feliciano cuts the skin off the tomatoes and places them into a pot of boiling water.

I've finished cutting up two mushrooms when Elizaveta walks into the room.

"Hi Honda," She smiles at Mr. Kiku, she's always so friendly.

"Herro Erizaveta, can I herp you?" Mr. Kiku is so serious, even with teachers.

"I need to talk to Mattie, there's a new book out by Patrick Sparrow that I think he may be interested in."

Shes lying, I can see it in her eyes.

Mr. Kiku crosses his arms, "Can't it wait? We're in the middre of crass."

"No." Elizaveta states firmly "I promised him this book and if I don't get it to him now, someone else will take it."

Mr. Kiku sighed, "Fine, but hurry. Mattie!"

I put down the knife, take off my apron, and follow Elizaveta out of the classroom.

She leads me into the janitor's closet, "Quick, get in."

Once inside, Elizaveta locks the door than turns to me, "I know."

"Know what?"

"About you and Gilbert."

My heart stops.

"What do you mean you know about us?" I pretend to have no idea what she's talking about.

She sighs, "I saw you two kiss yesterday, and this morning."

"Please don't tell the principal!" I cry, "I can't b-"

"I'm not going to tell anyone."

"What?" I'm confused, isn't she supposed to report things like this?

"I won't tell anyone," Elizaveta repeats herself, "Everybody has a secret that needs to stay a secret. If you two are going to date, be quiet about it at least."

"Eliza... Thank you." I wipe tears from my eyes and hug her.

Elizaveta is so nice, she's like a big sister.

"Alright, now hurry back to class." She unlocks the door.

"Ok."

I head back to home EC, though the class is already over.

"Mattie! I saved you some pasta! Itsa so yummy~" Feli handed me a container of amazing looking pasta.

"Thanks Feli, sorry you had to do it by yourself."

"It's ok," He smiled, "I'm just happy I could share some with you."

Feliciano waved goodbye, then ran off to his next class.

He's so nice...

I'm glad he's my friend.

* * *

I shut my locker, gym bag in hand, and started walking towards gym C.

I've never really been an athletic person, but I try my best and most of the time I get A's.

"Mattie! Dude how are you?" Alfred jumped on me from behind.

"Ow.. Alfred please get off." I grunt, he's heavy. That and I'm not that strong.

"PYAHAHA! You're such a wimp." He stands up and drags me towards the gym.

"Um.. I can walk." Though he doesn't hear me and continues to drag me.

This is really embarrassing.

Once in the changing room, I look past the half-naked guys beating each other up and look for a stall to change in.

"There's no free stall, I'll just change in the washroom." I'm about to leave when Al stops me.

"Whats the prob? Just change here."

"Fine." I sigh and I take off my shirt.

"Hey!" Alfred exclaims "You have muscles."

He feels my stomach and chest, not realizing how tense I am.

"Ah! Don't do that, it's weird."

"You're weird."

I pull on a white t-shirt with a red maple leaf on it.

Turning to Alfred, I can see he's already changed.

"Dude, you're so slow."

"..."

I feel awkward changing pants in front of Al.

But he had already left to go talk to the other guys.

"Isn't Katyusha hot? I could stare at her all day."

"Don't talk about her like that, her brother is crazy."

They turn to look at Ivan who is giving them a death stare.

"Don't come near my sister or I will be strangling you with my pipe, da?" He smiled kindly, though his words were deadly.

"You tell them big brother." Natalia, Ivan's little sister/stalker, creepily whispered into his ear.

"Wah! Natalia, go home!" Ivan cried, running out of the change room.

"C'mon dude, lets go." Alfred pushed me out the door and again dragged me to the gym.

Coach Zwingli was putting everyone into teams for volleyball.

"Alfred, you and Mattie can go join team seven." He didn't even look at us.

It was Alfred, Ivan and me on one team versing three guys whose names I don't know on the other team.

I fealt like the only one on my team playing fairly, while Al kept throwing the ball at me and it looked like Ivan was trying to kill the other team with the ball.

Long story short is we won 8-3.

"Yes, we won!" Alfred hugged me while Ivan awkwardly stood next to us.

"Class dismissed!" Coach Zwingli called out to the class.

"C'mon Mattie, let's get changed." Alfred said with a smile.

* * *

I knock on the door of my science class room, "Mr. Beilschmidt?"

Gil opens the door, "Hey Birdie, what's up."

He lets me into the class room and closes the door.

"My friend made me lunch in home EC. and I thought you'd want some..."

Why am I suddenly feeling shy around him?

"Sure," He smiles "Sounds better than eating leftover wurst."

Gil sits in his swivel chair, "No need to grab a chair, you can sit on my awesome desk if you want."

I'd feel awkward sitting on his desk so I pull up a chair.

"What kind of pasta is it?" He asks, smelling the pasta.

"I don't know," I open the container "But it looks like tomato sauce."

He takes a forkful and holds it out to me, "Here, try some."

Reluctantly, I eat it off his fork. "Wow, it's good."

He eats a forkful as well, "You're right!"

After that, we eat in silence.

Say something...

Anything...

Once the container is empty, I wipe my mouth with a Kleenex.

"So..."

I look up at Gil, is he... blushing?

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out some time."

"You mean like a date?" The idea makes my heart pound, in the good way.

"Yeah, there's this carnival in New York. It'd take a couple hours to get there but it's supposed to be really fun. Also, no one we know will be there."

"Sounds like fun." I smile.

I look at my watch and see that class starts in ten minutes, "Oh, I should go. Class starts soon."

"Wait," Gil grabbed my arm before I could leave, "I have to know..."

"Do you love me? Or are you just doing this to get a good grade?"

I turn to him, he looks sad.

My knees touch his hips as I sit down on his lap. I press my lips against his gently but passionatly, "Of course I love you."

"Then will you stay with me for one more minute?"

I answer him with another kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

I had just sat down in English class when Mr. Kirkland walked in.

"Everyone si' down" He slurred, he must be drunk... again.

As he made his way to his desk, Mr. Kirkland tripped on the over-head projector's chord.

"Flying mint bunny you wanker! How could you trip me?!" He yelled at nothing.

The class looked around, confused.

"Dude must be REALLY drunk." I over-heard Alfred, who's sitting behind, me whisper to his friend.

"No way, he must be schizophrenic." His friend replied with a laugh.

I don't care what they say, I like Mr. Kirkland.

He's nice when he isn't drunk.

"Alright class," Mr. Kirkland stands in front of the class, "Today we're gonna do acting."

"Maple..." I curse under my breath, I'm not a good actor.

Mr. Kirkland handed out (he stumbled a LOT) short scripts to each student.

"The first scene will be 'The Shecret Lovers'. Sheck yar scripts to see if you've got thish part."

Alfred raised his hand, "I have the script of the dude the wife's cheating with."

Mr. Kirkland looked down at the script in his hand, "Oh, I'm the cheating-" he hiccuped "wife."

The class laughed at the thought of him as someone's wife, as if they'd never heard of two men loving each other.

As if the very idea was a joke...

A girl who's name I don't know walked to the front of the room, "I'm the husband." She groaned.

Right away the scene started with the wife and her secret lover.

"Oh Alexander," Mr. Kirkland exclaimed in a girlish tone as Alfred kissed his hand, "You're so sweet."

"Michelle, Your husband doesn't realize how beautiful you are." Alfred swept his fingers through Mr. Kirkland's hair.

The class was snickering, I could hear some of my classmates whispering 'gay'.

Mr. Kirkland pulled Alfred into his arms and kissed him. Unfazed, Alfred kissed him back.

The whole class gasped.

"I know it's a part of their scene but... they actually kissed?!"

"A teacher kissing a student... thats crazy."

Gilbert...

I jumped out of my seat and ran out the door.

No one seemed to notice or care.

Good.

I hurried up the stairs to Upper A wing, which has all of the science classes.

He shouldn't have a class right now, its period three of day one so he should having a free block.

"Gilbert!" I threw open the door and spot him at his desk.

He turns, "Birdie? What is the awesome you doing here? Don't you have class?"

"Yes," I stop to breathe, "But my teachers drunk so I don't think he'll care."

Gil put down the piece of paper he was holding, "I was marking papers but whats up." He looks at me with caring eyes.

"Sorry its just... I was wondering." Something about him always make me nervous.

I guess that's just what love feels like.

"I was thinking, if we both love each other and we kiss each other then does that mean we can be boyfriend and... boyfriend." It feels awkward saying the last part, but I AM gay. "I know you're my teacher and all but I can't change the way I feel about you."

"Of course,' He smiles "The awesome me will take good care of you..."

Gil stands up and comes over to me, "Now..."

He leans in to kiss me; My heart is pounding.

I feel his hand caressing my back as his lips begin to move away from my mine and press against my neck.

"Wait," I push him away, only slightly though "I think we should slow things down first. We've only known each other for two days."

He lets go of me.

"If thats how you feel then we should get to know each other, let's go on a date."

"A date..?" I blush "I've...never been on a date before."

"Seriously?!" Gil pokes me, jokingly, "Don't tell me you're a virgin too?"

My face turns even redder.

"Well, Christmas is coming soon so maybe the awesome me has an idea for a date." He smiles.

"I should get back to class," I hug Gil goodbye.

He smells like German food.

"Why don't I walk you home after school," He smiles "Then we won't have to worry about getting in trouble for being together."

"Ok." I reply as I leave the classroom.

* * *

"Dude where'd you go?" Alfred asks the second I enter my English classroom, "Mr. Kirkland threw up and ran to the washroom. Soooo funny!"

"I wasn't feeling well," I lie, "Did I miss anything important?"

He shook his head, "Other than that no."

The bell rang and students started to pack up and leave the classroom.

"Have fun in drama." I say to Alfred before he leaves.

"Have fun in math."

Maple! I forgot to finish my math homework!

I look down at my watch to realize I only have seven minutes to get to class and even then there still won't be enough time to fix it.

I grab my bag and run down the hall.

By the time I've reached my math class the door is closed, bad sign.

I knock twice and wait.

The door opens and Mr. Wang comes out, "Mattie, take your seat."

"Before I do that," I close the door so the kids inside won't hear me "Can I have another day to finish the homework?"

Mr. Wang looks at me shocked, as if he'd seen a ghost.

"An extension..?" He could barely speak, he looks kind of pale "But you're my best student, you've never needed an extension before."

"I was working on it last night but... I fell asleep." I can see he's disappointed in me, "Please, I just need one day."

He crossed his arms, why does he have such long sleeves? "I want it on my desk tomorrow morning."

"Thank you." I reply, nearly hugging him. Grades are a big deal for me.

I open the door and find a seat up front as usual.

My classmates flood in and take random seats, at 1:50 Mr. Wang started the class.

"Today..." He began "We are doing review."

Time seems to go by so quickly during math.

"Mattie," Mr. Wang called me "What is the answer for X?"

"8." I calculated in my head.

"Correct."

After calling on other members of the class, Mr. Wang wrote our in-class assignment on the board.

"Class, turn to page 168 and answer each question."

My pencil flew across the paper, when I'm focused I can do math very well.

_The square root of 144 is 12, the square root of 150 is 12.247_

I've already finished the questions when class is over.

"Don't make me wait too long for your homework." Mr. Wang warned me before I left.

"Yes sir."

* * *

"Sorry to make you wait," I run up to Gil, my bag slung over my shoulder.

"Don't be, I haven't been waiting long." He's so kind, not wanting to admit I made him wait in the snow.

We've already crossed the street when I realized, "Isn't your car parked here? Why don't we drive?"

"Yeah it's here, but I live further away so I can just walk back and get it when I need to go home. Besides, finding parking spaces is so... unawesome."

We start to walk again, the maple trees seem to loom over us.

Everybody normally rushes home so theirs barely anyone around who knows us.

"If we walk through an alley or something we can hold hands." Gil suggests.

"Just wait a couple blocks, alleys creep me out." I shiver at the thought of walking through an alley. We could get mugged or-

Gil entwined his fingers in mine and I can feel my face burn up, but I don't pull my hand away.

Being able to touch him, even a little, makes me feel calm.

And happy...

Suddenly, we're standing in front of my house.

"That was quick." I pant, the snow is making me feel stuffy.

I unlock the door and hold it open for Gil.

He stepped through the door and shook off his boots and pulled off his sweater.

After taking off my snow jacket, boots and dropped my bag onto the floor, I walk into the kitchen.

"There's not much to see here but this is the kitchen, at the end of the hall is the bathroom, my brothers room is to the left, mine is to the right and downstairs is the garage."

"Can we go in your room?" Gil asks "I'd just feel a lot more comfortable."

"Sure."

I lead the way and he plops down on my bed.

"Small room," he stated, blindly not realizing it could be taken as an insult "Awesome but small."

I'm about to sit in my desk chair when I'm stopped by Gil, "Come sit with me."

I sit next to him, though I'm feeling a little shy.

Next thing I know, his arm is around me and his lips are pressed against my cheek and neck.

"I know you said to take it slow," He breathes between kisses.

"But I can't help it,"

"I love you." I put my arms around him.

I put my lips on his and pull him onto me.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." Gil say after each kiss.

His hand sneaks under my shirt and up my back when..

"Who the hell are you?"

I turn my head to see Kuma is standing at my door.


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone has those moments when something awkward happens to them like tripping in front of the 'popular' kids or burping when you ask out the girl you like.

Mine happens to be my brother walking in on me making out with my science teacher.

"Mattie..." Kuma looks mad, crazy mad.

"I... I can explain." Gil gets off me and stands up.

Kuma grabs Gil's tie and pulls his face towards Gil, "Just who the hell do you think you are. Get out before I call the cops."

"Kuma stop." I stand between them "You can't kick him out."

"I SAID GET OUT!"

"Kuma!"

Gil loosens his tie, "Mattie, thank you for having me over. I pick you up tomorrow morning."

I don't understand how he can seem so happy at a time like this.

Gil leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

I hear the front door close seconds later.

"Why'd you have to be so mean to him?!" I can feel my eyes start to well up, does this mean Kuma will stop Gil from seeing me?

"Oh I'm sorry!" Kuma started sarcastically, "Am I supposed to welcome the man who's making out with my brother? Not to mention he looks twice your age!"

I hate it when Kuma yells at me.

I can feel large warm tears pouring down my cheeks.

"Hey..." Kuma pulls me into a hug, "It's ok. Did he hurt you? 'Cause we can call the cops if-"

"NO!" I push Kuma away, "You don't understand! I love him!"

"You love him...?"

"Yes." I wipe the tears from my eyes, I know I have to tell him "Kuma, I'm gay."

Kuma shakes his head and buries his face in his hands, "Ah, Why didn't you tell me. I just threatened him."

"I couldn't tell you, you'd be mad... like you just acted."

"I'm sorry... I didn't know."

Again Kuma pulled me into a hug. I know he loves me but he just threatened the man I love.

"No," I push him away again, "You have to apologize to Gil."

"I'm not sorry. I can't say I'm happy you want to date a man twice your age but I don't care if you're gay. You're my brother so I can respect that."

Kuma walked out of the room, "I'll make you some pancakes, come down when you've calmed down."

As Kuma closed the door, the room became dark.

Just like how my heart feels.

* * *

I woke up the next morning, a hand gently brushed through my hair.

"Kuma please don't touch me, I'm still not happy about yesterday..." I roll over and am surprised to see red eyes looking back at me.

"Morning Birdie." Gil smiled at me.

"G..Gil!" I jump.

"It's ok, calm down." He had slipped under the covers with me and my head is resting on his chest.

"I love feeling your hair, it's soft like feathers..." He trailed off.

Gil traced his fingers over my curl.

"No! Don't touch my curl!" But he was already feeling it.

"Why?" He gave it a small tug.

I moan, "Please don't."

My face is bright red.

He smirks, "You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

"Why are you in my room?" I look away from him, "I thought Kuma would have threatened to kill you."

"Actually, he was chill."

"Wha?"

"He said I could come see you but I had to talk to him first." He started to stand up but I stopped him.

"What did you say?" I ask, worried.

"He told me if I hurt you, I'd have to deal with him. Also, he knows I'm you're teacher."

"And... He wasn't mad?"

"He didn't say much. You know he's protective because he loves you."

Now I get up, "I know he loves me but..."

I can't finish that sentence.

"I have a little brudder too, he's in the military and he's coming home for the Christmas." Gil stands up as well and looks me in the eyes, "I understand why Kuma was so overprotective."

"I should apologize."

"Hey Kuma, quit eavesdropping and talk to your awesome brudder."

Kuma slipped through the door and stood in front of me, not making eye contact with Gil "I'm sorry Mattie, I was just angry to find some old man making out with my only brother."

"Who are you calling old?! I'm younger than you!"

Kuma glared at Gil and he kept quiet.

"I have pancakes for you if you still want them."

I hugged Kuma, "Thanks."

* * *

We sat at the table, in front of me is a plate of Kuma's pancakes.

"Christmas is only three days away." Gil stated, eating a pancake with his hands.

"Oh yeah!" I exclaimed, "I completely forgot. Are you excited Kuma?"

"Yeah..." Kuma trailed off, seeming distracted.

"How'd you like to spend Christmas with the awesome me?"

That snapped Kuma back into reality.

"Mattie and I have always been together for Christmas."

Gil smiled, "You can come too. I don't know many people in town so I'm going to have a small party with a couple friends."

"That sounds fun! Kuma we should go." I take Kuma's hand to calm him down.

"Ok," Kuma smiled.

"Hey Birdie," Gil whispered into my ear, "I really hope you can come because all I want for Christmas is you."

I blush.

"What was that?!" Kuma shouted at Gil.

"I have to leave now to prepare for the party, thank you for having me over."

Gil slipped on his black winter jacket and opened the door, "I'll see you later, Birdie."

He left, Kuma sighed "I don't trust him..."

I got up and headed to my room to change clothes.

"Cause' baby all I want for Christmas, is you."


	5. Chapter 5

Two days until Christmas.

That means today is Gil's Christmas party.

"Hey Kuma! What are you wearing to Gil's party?"

When he doesn't answer, I walk into his room and see him asleep in a pile of clothes.

"Kuma," I shake my sleeping brother, "Wake up."

"Mhh..." He mumbled, lifting his head, "Hey."

"It's time to get up." I drag Kuma off the bed.

I know he's not a morning person but normally he's harder to wake up.

That's when it hits me.

"Kuma... have you been drinking?"

"No..."

Kuma threw up on the floor.

"Yes."

"Why were you drinking?! You know we have that party... oh." I realized, Kuma drinks when he's distressed "Come on, let's get downstairs and I'll make you some coffee."

Kuma went downstairs while I cleaned up his vomit, thank god his room has wood floors.

One minute later, I can smell coffee being made.

"Kuma?" I call out.

I finish cleaning the floor and head downstairs to see Kuma drinking coffee.

I sigh, "You made your own coffee..."

"I'm not three years old." He replied, crankily.

Good, he's sobering up.

"Have you decided what you're going to wear to Gil's party?" I ask a second time.

He sighs, "I thought I'd wear a dress pants and a white shirt."

"How about I pick what you wear." I suggest.

"Sure, whatever." Kuma stands up, "I'm gonna go take a shower."

Kuma set down the cup of coffee and walked into the washroom.

"Oh, I should get my clothes ready."

The party is only a couple hours away.

* * *

I look at myself in the mirror.

I'm wearing black dress pants, a lilac long-sleeved shirt and a black vest over it.

I hope Gil likes my outfit.

Kuma knocked on my door, "Can you take a look at my outfit?"

Sometimes he acts like a little kid, "Sure."

He stepped into my room wearing white dress pants with a black belt, a blue long-sleeved shirt and a black tie.

"Wow Kuma, you look cool." I smile.

"And you, I barely even recognize you." Kuma smiles back at me, "Have you gotten a gift for Gilbert?"

"Maple! I forgot! I should have gotten it yesterday when Gil invited us." I throw on one of my jackets, "Can I borrow your car?"

"Uh, yeah sure." Kuma answered, sounding unsure.

I hurry outside and jump into Kuma's red Chery A-1 and drive down the block.

I may have a driver's license but I don't drive a lot.

Driving on Harper street, I can see lots of stores that would have a present Gil would like.

Calm down.

I turn on the radio and a song has just finished playing.

**_And that was Royals by Lorde._**

**_Now since it's Christmas time, the station will now be playing only Christmas music._**

**_First on, All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey._**

"This song..."

I love this song, it reminds me of Gil.

**_I don't want a lot for Christmas,_**

**_There is just one thing I need,_**

**_I don't care about the presents,_**

**_Underneath the Christmas tree,_**

**_I just want you for my own,_**

**_More than you could ever know,_**

I can't help but to sing along.

**_Make my wish come true,_**

**_All I want for Christmas..._**

**_Is you._**

This song makes me feel so emotional, so in love.

There.

I spot a store that I know will have what Gil wants.

It's perfect.

* * *

Kuma knocks on the door to Gil's house.

"I can't believe he likes so far out of town, and his house is HUGE." I'm amazed that he has this nice of a house for a teacher's salary.

The door opens and Gil is standing at the door. He's wearing a black dress shirt with a red scarf and jeans.

"Hey! Awesome, you guys came!" Gil awkwardly hugged Kuma then pulled me into a hug, his cologne smells like peppermint.

Kuma ignored Gil and walked inside while we remain hugging at the front door.

Gil released me, "Come in, I want you to meet mein brudder."

As we step inside, I'm amazed to see how big the house is on the inside. Not to mention the chandeliers, fancy furniture and the buffet table.

"Wow! How can you afford all of this stuff?!" I ask him in awe.

"I used to do modeling, you can find me under 'BTT'." Gil smiles.

He takes my hand and leads me outside to his deck which is snow-free.

"West! This is my boyfriend Mattie!" Gil calls out.

I blush at his comment.

A tall, blonde man walks over to Gil and holds out his hand to me, "Hallo, I'm Ludwig."

"Hi," I shake his hand, "Gil says you're in the military. What's that like?"

Ludwig sighs, "There's the constant fear of killing or being killed, but I feel better when I know that I'm fighting for something. Or should I say someone."

"You have a girlfriend?"

"Actually, I have a boyfriend." Ludwig blushes, "He's at this party too. I think you two would get along."

Ludwig looked past me and smiled, "Here he is now."

I turn around and am shocked to see a familiar auburn-haired boy standing in front of me.

"Feliciano...?"

"Mattie?!" Feli looks at me wide-eyed.

"Oh right, I forgot you two are friends." Gil stated.

Ludwig plated a kiss on Feli's forehead, "Das gut. I'm glad you have a social life and don't spend all your time worrying about me."

Feli looked like he was about to cry, "Ve, I'm always thinking about you. I just wish you'd come home and stay with me and Lovino."

"There you are!" An angry Italian voice rang out in the night.

A dark haired boy and a light haired man walked outside and over to us.

"Feli you bastard! I told you not to leave my side!" The dark haired boy yelled at Feli.

Wait... That's Lovino! Feliciano's moody twin brother. But I don't know who the man is.

"Lovino! Toni! You made it!" Gil hugged the both of them, he seems like a hug person.

"I'd never miss one of your parties, mi amigo!" Toni exclaimed, "And this must be your pareja (partner) Mattie."

"Nice to meet you." I hold out my hand to Toni but he hugs me instead.

"Tomato bastard, I'm hungry." Lovino pokes Toni.

"Ok! OK! We'll talk later, si?" Toni is dragged inside by Lovino, that kid is strong.

"Ludwig," Feli wipes his eye, "Can we go be alone or something? We haven't been together in a long time and... I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!"

Feli jumped into Ludwig's arms, "Ja. I'll see you two later."

Ludwig carried a sobbing Feliciano inside, leaving Gil and I on our own.

"It's beautiful outside isn't it?" Gil asks me, "I love it when the sun sets. That's when the Gilbirds go to their nests."

"Gilbirds?"

Gil stares off, "Ja, they're are little yellow birds who sometimes rest on mein deck."

He turned to me, "So, you brought a present for me?"

My face turns bright red, "Uh.. yes! Here."

I had him the small box.

"Thanks Birdie." Gil smiles.

"Wait," I stop him from opening the box, "Let's go off the deck first."

We walk down the stairs and stand in the forest.

Gil lifts the top off the box to reveal a sprig of mistletoe.

"I love it." He sighs, happily.

He lifts the mistletoe above our heads.

"Merry Christmas."

The sky is black and speckled with stars when I throw my arms around his neck and as our lips connect, I feel my heart skip a beat.

Suddenly, a firecracker goes off in the sky. The colours cascade above us.

Some guests come outside to watch the fireworks, though they don't notice Gil and I down below the deck.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey my AWESOME followers!**

**Sorry for not posting in a while, I've been busy/lost interest because less people were leaving comments.**

**This will be the FINAL chapter. And a long one.**

**Also, this story is a bit fast-paced because I only wrote this for a buddy of mine.**

**In the story, it is two weeks after Christmas and Gil surprised Mattie with a trip to a winter festival in New York City.**

**Enjoy!~**

* * *

I opened my eyes, the bright lights of New York were all around me.

Gil and I are riding the Ferris wheel at a New York Winter Festival.

"Isn't it awesome?" Gil asks me, it's so cold I can see his breath.

"Yeah," I look down to see his gloved hand resting on mine, "Really awesome."

Gil smiled, he has such a great smile "So how's this for a first date?"

"Perfect."

The Ferris wheel spun around again and Gil and I got out.

"What now?" I asked Gil as we walked around the festival, hand-in-hand.

"Come with me." Gil lead me off before I could respond, something must have caught his eye.

We ran towards the concession area.

"A photo booth?" I panted as we stopped in front of the big box.

"I want to take a picture with mein birdie." Again, that sexy smile.

My face fealt warm, "Okay."

We stepped inside the booth and Gil put a quarter in the money slot.

"Ok... smile!"

I smiled, not that I needed to be told to. I'm having a great time!

Click!

Quickly, Gil wrapped his arms around me, my face turned bright pink.

Click!

Gil pressed his lips against my cheek.

Click!

I threw my arms around Gil and kissed him back.

Click!

"Birdie..."

"Gil?"

"The pictures."

Embarrassed, I let go of him.

Gil laughed, "Mein Gott you're adorable."

He slid past me to exit the photo booth, I had to resist hugging him from behind. Being able to feel how warm he is despite the snow.

"Keseseses! Look Birdie, we look like a real couple!"

A real couple...

I've never had a boyfriend before, or a girlfriend either.

I used to have a HUGE crush on Al but... this is real.

Gil held the photo strip in front of my face, "I like this one, you're so cute when you blush."

I took the strip from him and looked it over.

A real couple.

"It's about time we got going, ja?"

I nodded.

As we started down the street, Gil rested his arm on my shoulder not caring that people were staring at us.

"Let them look," Gil smiled, "Here, we have nothing to hide."

We stopped at a crosswalk and I looked back at the pictures from the photo booth.

I don't think I've ever been more happy.

The walk signal flashed and not paying attention, I began walking.

"Birdie! Wait!" Gil cried.

Before I could turn around, I was shoved forward. There was a muffled scream.

"Gil...?"

I turned my head slightly.

Blood.

Lots of blood.

"Gil!"

* * *

If you look up the term 'heartbreak' the description would be "A very strong feeling of sadness, disappointment, etc."

A more fitting definition would be "The feeling when you realize the person you love is crushed by a car."

"Gil!"

The car sped off, driving over Gil's chest.

"Oh my god! Gil!"

His eyes were closed, his jacket was pouring blood and his leg looked bent.

"Someone help!" My eyes overflowed with tears.

It hurts...

A driver got out of his car, "I'll drive you to the hospital." He called to me.

"Please!" I attempted to drag Gil to the stranger's car.

"I need help carrying him!"

The man rushed over and helped me carry him to the car.

I sat in the back with Gil's head resting on my lap, the man jumped into the front seat.

"Hurry! We need to go!" I yelled over the angry car horns behind us.

The man sped down the street, taking a sharp turn.

"It's going to be ok Gil," I cooed as I brushed my fingers through his hair. Blood started to stain my clothes.

My tears landed on his face and I wiped them off.

I gently wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his face into my chest, "You'll be ok."

The tears stream down my face fealt like they were burning, my heart was racing.

It's my fault isn't it? Gil shoved me out of the way so the car wouldn't hit me...

"We're here."

The man stopped the car, not bothering to find a parking space.

"Thank you so much." I dragged Gil out of the car, which summoned a couple of male nurses to rush over.

"It's not problem." The man smiled, "Get help."

I closed the back door and the man drove off.

I don't even know his name.

Two nurses hurried over. One nurse crouches to see Gil, the other came up to me. "What happened?"

"Hit and run. He needs help now!"

A nurse hurries over with a gurney and the other nurse helps place Gil on the gurney.

"Now that we have him you can wait in the-"

I interrupt the nurse, "I'm not leaving him."

The two nurses rush Gil off and I run after them.

"Sir!"

The first nurse wrapped his arms around my waist to stop me, "Thank you for bringing him in but unless you're family you can't visit."

"I'm his boyfriend." I blurt out.

The nurse gave me a funny look, "Even so, that man needs to be looked over before anyone can visit him."

"Let me go!" Before I could control myself, I was pounding my hands on his chest in attempt to have him let go off me.

"Stop it!" The nurse tightened his grip on me, "I need help over here!"

"I need to be with him! Let go!" I struggled to get out of his grasp. I tried kicking him to get free.

A security guard rushed over.

Unable to contain myself any longer, my legs went limp and the nurse let go of me as I collapsed. I was sobbing harder than before.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I covered my eyes with my hands. "Please don't take me away from him!"

I looked up to see the security guard watching me, eyes filled with compassion, while the nurse glared at me.

The security guard looked at the nurse, "Rich..."

The nurse who apparently is named Rich sighed, as if in disappointment. "Fine, I won't throw you out but you have to wait in the lobby."

I got up slowly and wiped my eyes, "Th...thank you."

"I want you to stay with him." Rich said to the security guard before walking off.

The security guard watched him leave then looked back at me, "Let's get you inside before you freeze up."

I nodded and let the guard lead me into the main building of the hospital. The walls were pale yellow, other than that everything was white. I sat down on the white leather sofa closest to the front desk.

The security guard sat down next to me.

Silence.

I barely noticed how quite it was, I was distracted by my thoughts.

_It's my fault, Gil pushed me out of harms way and got hurt._

_What if he hates me?_

_What if he loses his memory and forgets about me?_

_What if he dies?_

If Gil died... no, I can't think like that. The doctors will save him.

I hope.

I should call Kuma and let him know what happened.

I reached into my pockets to realize my phone isn't there.

"I must have dropped my phone when Gil..." I said to myself before I realized actually saying what happened was too painful. I started trembling anxiously.

I turned to the security guard, "I lost my phone, mind if I go call my brother on the public phone."

He shrugged, "Sure, just don't get into trouble."

I got up and walked around the corner to a payphone. I dug a quarter out of my pocket and shoved it in the slot. My fingers shaking as I dialed the number.

After the fifth ring, he picked up.

"Yeah?"

"Kuma it's me."

"Mattie?! Where are you? You were supposed to be home by now." Kuma asked.

I couldn't answer him.

Warm tears rolled down my cheeks.

"Hello? Mattie?"

"I'm at a hospital."

Kuma sounded nervous, "What happened?"

"Gil..." I was cut off by my own sobs, "Got hit by a car."

"Do I need to come and get you?" Knowing Kuma, he's probably headed to the car to drive over.

"No," I stated, "I'm staying with Gil. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Wait!"

But it was too late, I'd already hung up.

* * *

After sitting in the waiting room for about two hours, Rich came over to me.

"Is Gil ok? I jumped out of my seat, ready to race down the hallway to see him.

Rich ignored the question, "Follow me."

I glance at the security guard next to me, he smiles. "Go on."

I realized that Rich had already walked off and I chased after him.

Rich stopped at room 124, opening the door for me.

I'm about to walk in when I stop, "Sorry about earlier."

"It's fine." He sighs, "Just go."

I smile sincerely and enter the room.

Inside is Gil, lying on a bed with a high-tech machine on each side. His eyes are shut, as if he were asleep.

"Gil..." I breathed softly, I walked over and sat on the bed.

Gently, I brushed my fingers through his silky, white hair.

"Gil." I whispered, unable to speak any louder.

His eyes opened and a weak smile spread across his pale face.

"Bir...die." Gil tried to sit up even though he was in pain.

"Don't move, it's my fault you're like this anyways."

Gil frowned, "It's not your fault, I chose to save you."

I still don't feel better.

"Birdie?"

"Yes?" I smiled, even though I feel awful for causing his injuries.

"I wan't you to promise me that if I die-"

"You won't die! You woke up after all!" Hearing those words... the thought of death.

"My ribs are crushed, my leg is broken, I have a concussion and I'm only awake now because of the powerful drugs they gave me and my wanting to see you." I looked him over and Gil was right, he looks awful. "I wan't you to promise me that if I die, you won't blame yourself."

"I... I promise."

Gil took my hand in his, "I want you to mean it."

I must have started crying and not realized it because Gil reached over and wiped the tears off my cheeks.

Gil pulled back, moving to the right of the bed "Come lie down with me."

I lied back, making sure Gil had enough room.

"Do you remember when we first kissed?"

"It was in the library."

Gil put his arm around me as he continued, "You fell off the step-stool and into my arms."

"Yet another time you saved me."

That sounded mean.

He sighed, "The awesome me likes saving you."

We sat like that for a while, until Gil got tired. He did say that the doctors had given him a lot of medicine.

"Wait," Gil grabbed my arm as I got off the bed, "Stay."

I looked into Gil's red eyes and see... sadness.

Reluctantly, I got back on the bed. I was hoping not to disturb him while he sleeps but there's no helping it.

As Gil started to drift off I gently brushed his hair.

"I love you Mattie." He breathed.

He called me by my real name, he must be really sleepy.

"I love you too." I breathed, kissing Gil's forehead.

* * *

I knew I was dreaming because everything seemed bright and fluffy.

The sky was a pale blue and the grassy hill I was standing on was different shades of green.

For some reason, I couldn't remember anything. I just wanted to run...

And run...

And run.

Still, something fealt wrong.

Something was missing.

On the top of the hill stood a figure dressed in a white shirt and pants.

...Gil?

I hurried up the hill calling out to him.

"Gil is that you?!"

The figure turned around, it was indeed Gil but he had a look of surprise, or maybe fear, on his face.

I slowed down, "Are you ok?"

"You... can see me?" He looked dumbfound.

My eyebrows furrowed, "Of course I can see you... Why is that a surprise?"

"Because I'm dead."

* * *

I woke up, screaming.

The room was almost pitch blank except for the machines hooked up to Gil.

A droning sound was causing my head to pound like crazy.

Wait... the heartbeat monitor...

The line was flat.

"Gil?!" I shook him, hoping... praying that he'd wake up.

"Come on Gil, wake up!" I shook harder.

I jumped off the bed.

Where are the doctors and nurses?!

"Someone help!" I yelled out the door. A nearby doctor rushed over.

"His heart-rate! Please help!" The doctor turned on the lights and as soon as he saw Gil he stopped.

"Mon dieu..." The doctor flipped his medium length blonde hair over his shoulder, "I was hoping it wasn't true."

"What?! What do you mean?!" Without thinking I grabbed his sleeve.

"I'm so sorry." The French doctor reached for a nearby clipboard, "Time of death: 1:37am."

Time of... death?

The doctor put down the clipboard and turned to me, "I'm so sorry."

His lilac eyes were filled with pain.

Suddenly, he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry." I could see tears in his eyes.

Then he let go and left the room, possibly getting more doctors to...

I didn't care, Gil is dead.

* * *

I didn't think I'd be able to continue in school after Gil's passing but, he'd have wanted me to move on.

But I can't just move on.

Only a couple days after his death and I'm still haunted by that droning sound.

The sound when your heart stops.

Everyone seemed normal, maybe they didn't know or didn't care about Mr. Beilschmidt.

I was in English, people were going up to give speeches about 'world problems' and other stuff. A friend of Mr. Kirkland's, a famous public speaker, sat in the back of the class evaluating us.

"Mattie, your turn." Mr. Kirkland interupted the class from applauding Alfred's speech about obesity.

I got up from my seat and solemnly walked up to the front of the class.

In my hands was my speech about animal cruelty.

I can't read this...

I lifted the papers up for the class to watch as I ripped it into tiny pieces. The class gasped.

"My name is Matthew Williams. I bet this is the first time any of you have noticed me."

Mr. Kirkland looked angry, but I ignored his glaring.

"Every day and night I suffer from heart-break. How would you feel if your loved one was murdered in front of you?! I'm not afraid to admit I'm gay and I'm not afraid to say that my boyfriend was Mr. Beilschmidt."

The class looked horrified.

Homophobic.

"I am not a freak for loving someone older than myself who is a man, look at yourselves. Do you believe that you're any better?! I've seen you people make fun of gays, the disabled, anyone you feel lower than yourselves. Did Mr. Beilschmidt deserve to die? Of course not. But it's not like any of you care."

I walked back to my seat, expecting Mr. Kirkland to yell and the class to laugh when he kicked me out.

He didn't.

Alfred clapped, but only him.

The speaker got up from his seat and walked over.

He said that I spoke with passion and considering my grades, he'd like to offer me a scholarship for McGill University in Montreal.

I already speak fluent french so I said yes.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Kuma asks as we get into his car.

I nod, "I have to, it's Gil's funeral."

Kuma lets out a sigh and drives down the road. I stare out the window.

How can the world go on when someone has died.

Now I understand the pain of a widow, forever mourning her dead husband.

Kuma pulls over at the tall gates of a graveyard. Suddenly, I feel sick.

This is real.

"Call me when you need to be picked up." Kuma says before driving off.

I watched the car disappear and turned, walking into the graveyard. A large group of people surrounded by displays of red and white roses were silenty socializing.

"Mattie!" Feliciano run over and hugged me tightly, "Are you ok?"

Ludwig appeared behind him, "Don't startle him, it's a solemn day."

I had no idea that Ludwig would cry, but then again his brother died. Though the red stains around his eyes looked old I had a feeling there would be more.

"I'm... ok." I fealt unsure but I don't want them to worry.

"Are you going to go up and speak a few words?" Ludwig asked.

I scanned the crowd and fealt my stomach turn, "I want to but-"

"If you are nervous you can come up with me." I notice Feli looking slightly tense at Ludwig's offer.

"T..thank you."

People started to sit down when Ludwig lead me towards the podium.

"Thank you for coming everyone," Ludwig started, "When I look into this crowd, I see people my brother cared about."The crowd looked surprised at Ludwig's calmness.

"I remember when I was 14 and brudder was 18, and we were living with our cousin Roderich, that a military officer came to our house and offered Gilbert a position in the army. Instead of taking such a great opportunity, he turned them down saying 'I can't, I have to stay with mein brudder.' Even though Roderich could have watched me, brudder stayed to look after me."

Ludwig wiped away his tears, "Brudder was so kind..." Suddenly, Ludwig started to bawl and Feli rushed over to help him.

I was left at the podium.

"Um... I'm Mattie." I said awkwardly, "I was Gil's boyfriend. The reason Gil was killed was because he protected me from getting hit by a car."

Many faces look compassionate, wanting to share my grief.

"I fell asleep at the hospital and his heart stopped. If I had just woken up earlier..."

I looked over to the coffin behind me, inside was Gil's body.

"He made me promise not to blame myself but... It's feels like it's my fault."

Just like Ludwig, I burst out crying.

"It's ok." A woman rubbed my back as she lead me away from the the podium.

I looked up, surprised "Elizaveta?"

The librarian smiled, "Surprised?"

I nodded and she sighed, "I came with Roderich. Are you ok?"

"Wait.. Mr. Edelstein is the Roderich Ludwig was talking about?!" I noticed Mr. Edelstein in the second row looking annoyed, as usual.

"Yep," She giggled, "Were married."

"What?!"

Elizaveta laughed and I did too, I feel slightly better now.

After a couple more friends and family members go up and speak (Antonio went up but Lovino started to get fidgety and he had to stop halfway), Gil was buried and people started socializing.

I couldn't say anything.

"Hey, you're Mattie?" I turned around to see a blonde-haired girl with bright blue eyes. She looks kind of like me...

"Yeah..."

The girl smiles, "I'm Katie, my papa was one of Gil's doctors."

She points to the french nurse who hurried into the hospital room when I called for help. He's talking to Antonio.

Katie turns back to me, "I just wanted to tell you-"

"KATIE! Ohmigawd like don't leave me alone with your totally weird papa." A boy wearing a pink shirt under his suit ran over to Katie.

"Feliks don't interrupt me!" Katie yells at the boy, "Go play with your coloring book."

Feliks pouts, is he wearing makeup? "Fine, I'll go be fabulous without you."

He storms off and Katie sighs, "I'll be short, I found this in Gil's room."

Katie handed me a folded piece with my name written in big letters.

"Did... Gil write this?" I look up at her, excited.

"Yeah, you should read it." She glanced over at Feliks scribbling in pink pen, "Anyways, If you wanna talk or anything I wrote my cell on the back of the paper; Or Al knows how to contact me."

"Thank you." I smile.

She waves goodbye and drags Feliks over to her Papa who is scaring Lovino for some reason.

I don't open the note, but I tuck it into my jacket.

Kuma drove me home when the funeral was over.

* * *

I couldn't even begin to read Gil's note.

**Birdie,**

**...**

I had to stop, this note is the last thing I have of him.

Putting the note down on my nightstand, I start bawling.

"Mattie?" Kuma hurried into my room.

He gets into bed with me, "Come here."

I grab my brother as he pulls me into a hug. As I cry into his chest, Kuma pats my back.

"It's going to be ok." Kuma whispers.

I can't even speak. We stay like this for a while until I fell asleep. Kuma didn't leave.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with red eyes and messy hair. Sneaking out of bed to make sure I didn't wake up Kuma, I pulled on an old white hoodie with dark jeans and red converses. I grab a muffin and run to school, not bothering to properly get ready for school.

Not only was I late but I also had stepped in mud and was told to clean off my shoes before 'dirtying up the school'.

I washed my shoes off in the boys washroom. It smells like Lars has been in here.

I dropped my shoes under the dryer, not caring that I'm skipping home ec. I pull Gil's note out of my pocket and slip into a stall, I'll have to read it at some point.

**Birdie,**

**If you are reading this then that means that means I'm dead.  
**

I gulp.

**Please don't be sad, I already knew I was going to die.**

**The doctors told me that I was a lost cause and that if I woke up the next morning I was lucky.**

**I wouldn't have lasted more than three days.**

**When this doctor named Rich told me you were outside, I had the doctors leave so I could be alone with you when you got there.**

**I wish I could have spent longer with you. I want you to remember the good times we've had.  
**

**As a great man once said (It's me) 'Like the Prussian Empire, I too shall fall".**

**Don't forget about how much I love you.**

**-Gil**

My eyes caught sight of something tied to the letter, is that...?

I gently pulled off the small sprig of mistletoe I gave Gil for Christmas. The leaves were slightly brown and it smelt kind of funny but it was the same sprig.

I started to cry, I was so loud that a teacher came in and made me get out. Suddenly, I heard a voice. It was far away but I could understand it.

"Birdie." The wind seemed to whisper.

"G.. Gil!" I ran in the direction of the voice.

After running, I ended up on the school field.

"Birdie!" The voice sounded more like a cry then a shout, "Please wake up!"

"Wake up? I don't under-"

My vision turned dark.

* * *

Somebody is touching my arm.

My eyes scanned the room, everything was spinning and I fealt dizzy. Am I in a hospital?

"...Gil." I breathed.

White, snowy hair and blood red eyes appered in front of me.

"Gil?! You're alive?!" I jumped up, though my head was pounding.

"I thought I would lose you." I noticed tear stains on his cheeks as he pulled me into his arms.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "Lose me? But you died."

"No I didn't, I was just admitted out of the hospital yesterday. I was awesome enough to survive!" He grinned.

"Then why am I in here." I motioned to the hospital bed I was lying in.

"When that nurse Rich grabbed you, you had a stress related seizure." Gil sat next to me on the bed. "You fell into a kind of comatose but today you cried my name..."

I put the pieces together, "And I woke up."

Suddenly, the door opened.

"Oh! Mattie's awake!"

"...Katie?"

The blonde-haired girl looked shocked, "Omg! How do you know my name?!"

"Did you talk to me when I was in comatose?" I asked.

"Um... yeah! I was talking about how hot your boyfriend is!" She laughed, jokingly.

Gil grinned at me, "I'm just that awesome, but you're the only one for me Birdie."

After a couple of days, I was let out of the hospital. Kuma drove me and Gil home and when I went for a shower, Kuma and Gil bonded over a beer.

* * *

**Matthew "Mattie" Williams: **Mattie graduated with straight A's and was accepted to a prestigious University in Germany. He and Gilbert lived with Ludwig and Feliciano for five years until Mattie received a doctorate in psychology and began a career as a therapist.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **Gil and Mattie moved to Germany where Gil worked as a barista. On Mattie's 26th birthday, Gil proposed and they got married at Romantic Rhine.

**Kumajirou "Kuma" Williams: **Lived in Canada alone while his brother was in Europe. Kuma sobered up and got a job as a waiter in a fancy restaurant, until he was promoted to head manager.

**Ludwig** **Beilschmidt: **Feliciano moved to Germany to live with him. Ludwig finally worked up the courage to propose to Feliciano and they moved to Italy for their wedding.

**Feliciano Vargas: **Moved to Germany, then Italy and got married to Ludwig. He was so happy! Feliciano started his own restraunt called "Buon Appetito" and was able to live a life of happiness and PASTAAAAAAAAAAAA!

**Alfred F Jones: **After graduating he bumped into a pretty nurse named Katie and they fell in love. After their wedding, Al started a fast food business called "Al's Burger house".

**Antonio and Lovino:** Got married and moved to Spain. Lovino complained the whole time, even though he was happy.

**Elizaveta: **Wrote her own book about the experience she had working as a school librarian and had it published at Roderich's piano performance.

* * *

**I hope** **you guys enjoyed my final chapter!**

**If you guys want more I'm thinking of a new story idea or you can check out my FACE family story called "Promise me, Arthur."**

**Comment your opinions about the double plot twist, I love hearing from you guys!**

**Ciao! Flying Mint Bunny kisses to everyone!**


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